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You child, _____, is irritating.

I know this might come as a shock, because you believe that things spat out of your womb are destined to change the world and succeed where he/she wants too, but for little ____, this is untrue. _____ is irritating. What is more, ____ is stupid. That he/she still cannot remember the difference between a synonym and antonym after my careful explanation week in and week out for forty weeks is either the sign of a stupidity so large and encompassing that I suggest you cut down the TV time; or it is the much more admirable sign of a child genius who has decided to play with my mind. But because _____ constantly draws boobs and penis' and animals having sex with big boobs and penis' over his/her work book, I am confident that his/her ability to use me in their evil design for class amusement is somewhat limited.

I thank you for your time.

and no, this isn't a real student. it's just that whenever i sit down to write report cards, i have this urge to write something like that. i don't know why, really, beyond the fact that i'd think it was really funny and it goes against the sheet of things to write down. and yes, there is a sheet of comments. pick the correct comment for a child--a game in itself, really.

Comments

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ceret
Dec. 7th, 2003 10:18 pm (UTC)
I need a proforma like this for use when marking undergraduate haiku. Do you work for hire? Or do you mind if I just substitute 'haiku' for 'child' and run with this?

benpeek
Dec. 7th, 2003 10:22 pm (UTC)
i both work for hire, and you can substitute.

i am particularly good at telling undergrads that their fiction/poetry/whatever is shallow and self serving.

i am also available for childrens parties.
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